THIS upcoming Hari Raya carries special meaning in our household because it will be Rafael’s first Raya.
Like many first-time mothers, I find myself feeling a mix of excitement, sentimentality, and a fair amount of anxiety about how everything will unfold.
Hari Raya visiting has always been a cherished tradition, where homes are filled with family, laughter echoes across living rooms, and tables overflow with festive dishes and colourful kuih.
But celebrating Raya with an eight-month-old baby adds an entirely new layer to the experience.
At eight months old, Rafael is more alert and active than ever.
He claps his hands, waves enthusiastically at people, and seems fascinated by everything happening around him.
More than anything, he loves being included.
That curiosity also means he wants to be part of every task at home, including Raya preparations.
Cleaning the house these days is no longer a straightforward activity.
It has become a balancing act of doing chores while keeping an eye on a very curious little human.
Whenever I tidy up a corner of the house, Rafael is usually nearby, observing closely or trying to “help”.
And by help, I mean enthusiastically undoing whatever I have just finished doing.
A stack of folded clothes suddenly becomes a pile to explore. Cushions carefully arranged on the sofa somehow find their way onto the floor again.
Even sweeping or wiping surfaces becomes a mini adventure because he wants to grab the broom or inspect the cloth.
In short, cleaning the house now takes twice as long, and the results rarely last very long either.
Still, I would not trade those moments for anything.
Raya preparations have also come with another personal realisation this year: I will not exactly be dolling myself up for the festivities. Gone are the days of carefully planned hairstyles and full festive makeup.
This year’s Raya look will likely be minimal, simple, and practical.
The reason is Rafael himself.
He has developed what I jokingly call “human koala” tendencies — he loves clinging to me and getting very, very up close and personal. Personal space simply does not exist when he is around.
At any given moment, he might grab my face, study it closely, and then proceed to smear his drool all over it with great enthusiasm.
On other occasions, he decides my hair is the perfect handle to hold onto, often yanking or tugging it in different directions as if experimenting with a brand new hairstyle for me.
Under those circumstances, elaborate makeup and carefully styled hair would not survive very long anyway.
So this Raya, the look will be simple: minimal makeup, hair tied neatly, and ready for whatever Rafael decides to do next.
Of course, another thing I have been thinking about is Raya visiting itself.
I know some mothers can be quite protective or possessive of their babies during festive gatherings, especially when many relatives and friends are eager to carry and play with them.
Surprisingly, I am quite relaxed about that.
In fact, this Raya will be the first time many relatives and friends will finally get to meet Rafael in person since he was born.
So I completely understand the excitement and curiosity.
Babies have a way of becoming the centre of attention during festive gatherings, and Rafael will probably be passed from one pair of loving arms to another throughout the day.
I genuinely do not mind if people want to carry Rafael or spend time playing with him.
He enjoys meeting people and has never shown much fear of strangers. In fact, he lights up when someone talks to him or entertains him.
There are only two small rules I quietly hope people will respect.
The first is no kissing. Babies are still developing their immune systems, and while affection from family members is always well intentioned, avoiding kisses — especially on the face — helps reduce the risk of transmitting viruses.
The second rule concerns food. Hari Raya tables are famous for indulgent treats such as cookies, kuih raya and, of course, the beloved Sarawakian favourite, kek lapis.
While these festive delights are hard to resist, they are also packed with sugar.
And anyone who knows Rafael would know that he is quite the foodie.
If someone offers him a cookie or a piece of kek lapis, chances are he will happily open his mouth and accept it without hesitation.
But as his mother, I am trying to be mindful of what goes into his tiny stomach.
At this stage, I would much rather he continue exploring a variety of solid foods suitable for his age rather than being introduced to high-sugar festive treats.
It is not about being overly strict; it is simply about trying to build healthy habits early.
Rafael is up to date with his vaccinations, and I also make sure he gets multivitamins and plenty of nutrient-rich foods as part of his daily meals.
His paediatrician once reassured me that while parents should certainly be cautious, some exposure to common germs in everyday environments can help babies gradually build their immune systems.
It is part of how their bodies learn to recognise and respond to different pathogens over time.
Of course, that does not mean abandoning precautions altogether — good hygiene and sensible boundaries still matter.
There is also the small matter of Rafael’s Raya outfit.
Like many parents celebrating their baby’s first festive season, I could not resist getting him tiny Baju Melayu onesies in six different colours, complete with a miniature songkok.
Now the real question is whether the outfit will actually survive the day.
Anyone who has spent time with an eight-month-old knows how unpredictable babies can be.
I am quietly hoping the Baju Melayu onesie lasts through all the visits, nappy changes, crawling, and walking attempts — and that Rafael does not decide to dramatically yank off his songkok right in the middle of a family photo.
But if he does, it will probably make the picture even more memorable.
Perhaps that is the reality of motherhood: constantly balancing caution with the understanding that children also need space to grow, explore, and experience the world around them.
This first Raya may not be the perfectly organised celebration I once imagined.
The house might not stay spotless for long, I may not look particularly glamorous, and I will probably spend a good portion of the day chasing after a very energetic eight-monthold.
But that is part of the beauty of it.
Because years from now, when Raya comes again and Rafael is older, he will likely be the one running around the house with his cousins, reaching for cookies on the table and laughing loudly with everyone else.
And when that happens, I will probably look back at this first Raya — the messy house, the simple makeup, the tiny anxieties about sugar, and the constant juggling between chores and motherhood — and realise that these were the moments that made it truly special.
After all, a baby’s first Raya only happens once.
The views expressed here are those of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of Sarawak Tribune. The writer can be reached at sarahhafizahchandra@gmail. com.
