TEARS streamed down her cheeks as she recalled the tiresome life she had lived for the past 17 years. The words of her children echoed in her mind — “Mum, when you think about others, do you love yourself enough?” A divorcee, Kho Siew Lan has had it rough, juggling work and raising two children.
As a mother, she dedicated her entire life to ensuring her children had opportunities she never did — whether it was studying abroad or enjoying good meals. For that, she dared not think about travelling or dining out for pleasure. Her sole mission was to provide for them.
“I dare not say that I am a great mother, but I can say that I’ve been through a lot,” said the 52-year-old.
No days off
Rough patches
There is peace in knowing the decision she made over 15 years ago was the right one and ultimately led to happiness.
Through every trial and tribulation, Kho persevered — all for the sake of her children. At times, she hit the steering wheel more than she should have, sobbing and wondering what went wrong.
But today, every sacrifice has borne fruit. Though the journey was painful, she learned that life goes on.
“Throughout my whole life, I only worked and worked. Back then, I had to pay car instalments, buy groceries, and cover my children’s living expenses. It was a lot of pressure — I constantly wondered whether my income was enough. Sometimes, there were accidents or illnesses — unexpected extra expenses,” she shared.
Kho’s strength knows no bounds, but there were moments when she felt like collapsing.
“I was shouting and crying in the car. I kept hitting the steering wheel. I had to go through all the pain and pressure alone. I was simply too tired. I let it all out before going home to my children — I couldn’t let them see me breaking down.”
“But they knew. They didn’t have to ask or say anything — they just understood.”
Some days, Kho faced her battles alone. The weight of her responsibilities left little room to stop or rest. But this has become her life’s drive — back then, now, and still today.
Life on the road
Kho has done many jobs — from marketing to real estate. In 2018, she ventured into e-hailing, introduced to it by a friend’s husband who helped her register as a GRAB driver.
She was initially confused by the system, but once she got the hang of it, she felt nothing but gratitude.
“Being a GRAB driver feels like this — when I had no money to eat, I could just go out and drive, and there’d be money.
When I was younger, I could drive from morning till midnight. I wasn’t afraid of anything,” she said.
To Kho, there’s no shame in earning a living where she can. What truly frightens her is the thought of returning to a time when she had no money at all.
“So I think — when we work hard, there’s nothing to be afraid of. As long as we have money, we’ll be okay.”
“With Grab, you don’t have to worry about food. If you have nothing to eat, just go out and drive — money will come. But if you want to earn more, you must invest more time. Sometimes life forces us to work long hours. Still, if you’re willing to work hard, you’ll get the salary — and the life — you want,” shared Kho.
But it has been a while since she worked past midnight. These days, she ends her shift at 8 pm. She reminisces about the energetic younger version of herself — now, her body aches more, and she tires more easily. Age is a weight she cannot ignore.
Even so, Kho works 365 days a year — with no days off. Work has become the centrepiece of her existence.
“When I try to take a day off, I end up falling sick the next day. I don’t know why, but I keep living this way, even though my children are now grown and have graduated. I keep telling myself to relax, but I just can’t. Honestly, I spend more time in the car than at home.”
She recalled one hurtful memory: a passenger once threw money at her after a misunderstanding.
“At that moment, I felt humiliated. I didn’t rob or steal — why was I treated like that?”
“Truthfully, we often encounter passengers who discourage us, and it affects our mood. But we carry on because we have families to support.”
Driving long hours is no easy task — often holding in urine, enduring foot aches. Kho hopes passengers will treat GRAB drivers with more kindness, as their sacrifices often go unseen.
Looking back
Wiping away her tears, Kho has no regrets about her life, even though it has been a tiring journey.
“I’m used to it,” she said.
If she had to choose her path again, she would still pick the one that led to her children.
She made it through.
“Being a single mother is not easy. There’s so much to think about. It gets stressful at times. So to all the single mothers out there — jiayou! I hope you all have good jobs, money to pamper yourselves, and enough rest.”
Happy Mother’s Day.
