Dear friends and readers,
SENDING warm greetings from Beijing, where today marks the 62nd day of my journey here.
As I sit down to write this column, I reflect on the vibrant colours that define our lives, and for this month I am drawn to yellow, a hue that signifies hope, joy, and renewal.
Today (Thursday), I will embark on the third cycle of my combination treatments, a milestone that fills me with gratitude and reflection.
Each treatment cycle lasts three weeks. It is difficult to articulate the profound transformation I have undergone.
Just a few weeks ago, I was grappling with the debilitating constraints of late-stage breast cancer with lung metastasis, finding even the simplest tasks a Herculean challenge.
Suffocation enveloped me as I struggled to breathe and walk, yet in such darkness, a miraculous light began to emerge.
Through the grace of God, I experienced profound healing after my first treatment cycle.
It felt like a modern-day miracle, a divine intervention that gifted me the ability to breathe freely and walk again.
While the medical community provides knowledge and tools, it is often our spiritual conviction and faith that carry us through the darkest valleys.
This healing on March 24 marked a pivotal moment in my journey, where I could echo the promise found in Jeremiah 30:17: “But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds, declares the Lord.”
Every day since feels like a precious gift, reminding me of the merciful grace bestowed upon me, as I witness the tumour in my breast shrinking.
As I transition into my second treatment cycle, I face the challenges associated with hormonal therapy.
This treatment comes with an array of side effects, each testing my strength in different ways.
My white blood cell and red blood cell counts have dropped, resulting in fatigue that at times anchors me for nearly a week.
Weakness and breathlessness are constant companions, exacerbated by the hormonal medication I must learn to endure.
Hormonal therapy often requires significant lifestyle changes; it calls not only for physical adaptation but also emotional recalibration to accept these new limitations.
These side effects are not just biological—they weave into the fabric of emotional wellbeing.
By the grace of God, I have learned to navigate waves of fatigue and discomfort with the understanding that this is part of my journey towards healing.
And while the struggle is real, the grace I experience daily reassures me that I am not walking alone.
God’s presence lingers in every breath I take, and the very act of breathing, once burdensome, is now a reminder of His benevolence.
I embrace this serenity as a cherished gift, an invaluable companion amidst the uncertainties of my condition.
With the arrival of April, my thoughts drift towards the symbolic nature of yellow.
Yellow is the colour of sunshine, warm and radiant.
Just as flowers bloom in spring, my spirit lifts with the realisation that each day offers an opportunity for joy, hope, and renewal.
I am learning to embrace life in its full spectrum of colours, and this understanding is deeply tied to my journey through illness.
While I endure physical weakness, I remain ever grateful for God’s blessings.
The more I immerse myself in this process, the more I grasp the importance of maintaining hope.
As I prepare for my third treatment cycle, I anchor myself in Psalm 30:2: “O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me.”
Such divine affirmations not only bring comfort but strengthen my resolve to trust in God’s plan, whatever it may be.
As I reflect on this journey, a profound truth emerges: in God’s love, there is only life and eternal life.
With the Lord, there is no place for fear of death, for even in uncertainty I find solace and strength.
I entrust my life to Him, knowing He has a purpose beyond my understanding.
Each moment I live is filled with hope, faith, love, joy, and peace.
As I prepare for my third cycle of treatment, I reach out to you, my dear friends and family.
Your unwavering support— through messages, Facebook, Instagram, and phone calls — has illuminated my journey.
Thank you for your constant love.
To my beloved daughter and husband, your strength and compassion inspire me daily; your presence is my firm foundation.
I also extend heartfelt gratitude to my spiritual director, Father Ramon, as well as the devoted friends from Holy Trinity Church, the Salesians of Don Bosco community, and the many priests, sisters, parishioners, and friends whose prayers have sustained me.
With a grateful heart, I wish each of you a season filled with the vibrance of yellow—a colour that reflects grace, the warmth of community, and the celebration of life.
May you find joy in both the ordinary and the extraordinary, nurturing hope in every breath.
Let us cherish these gifts and support one another in faith. We are all connected, woven together in a tapestry of love that transcends individual experience.
Every day is a blessing, and I embrace each new dawn with renewed gratitude and faith.
As I begin this third cycle of treatment, I carry you all in my heart. Let us walk this journey together, sustained by grace that allows us to live fully in the spectrum of life — vibrant, colourful, and filled with hope.
God bless you all.
May God’s grace envelop us all, offering comfort and healing as we continue along our paths, celebrating life in all its colours.
With love and gratitude, Esther
The views expressed here are those of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of Sarawak Tribune. The writer can be reached at lawleepoh@gmail.com.
