The key is not to prioritise what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities. Some balls are made of plastic and some are made of glass. If you drop a plastic ball [like work], it bounces back. If you drop a glass ball [like family], it shatters.
– Nora Roberts
As the year draws to a close, many of us find ourselves looking back at what we have accomplished, what remains unfinished and what we hope to achieve in the year ahead. Some may even find themselves rushing to complete whatever is left on their to-do lists before the year comes to an end.
For many working adults, it has been another demanding year. Just like that, we have spent our days planning and strategising, meeting deadlines, managing expectations and trying to keep up with the ever-growing responsibilities that come with our jobs. Somewhere along the way, we may have fallen into the trap of believing that being busy has almost become a measure of how productive or successful we are.
But as we move through different stages of life, including becoming parents, does our perspective fundamentally change? Do we begin to see work, success and life itself differently?
A male friend of mine recently shared how fatherhood had changed his perspective. He is at the peak of his career, with a supportive wife who manages the household and takes care of their young daughter. On paper, he has every reason to remain focused on building his career and reaching the next milestone.
However, becoming a father has made him realise that nothing quite compares to spending time with his daughter.
His realisation came during an unexpected period of vulnerability. After suffering a back injury, he was unable to get out of bed and had to spend time resting and recovering.
That was when he began to understand something rather simple but profound: he was only human after all. He was not a superhero, nor was he as indispensable as he might have thought he was at work.
The workplace would continue to function, meetings would go on and decisions would still be made, even in his absence. But at home, he was the one and only husband to his wife and father to his daughter. The moments he could spend with his daughter, particularly while she was still young, were something he could never get back.
It was during this period that he began drawing a clearer boundary between work and home. He made a conscious decision not to bring work conversations into the household. Work, after all, was work. It had its place, but it did not have to occupy every part of his life.
And I suppose parenthood has made me more conscious of this too. Watching my daughter grow a little taller, become more independent and discover something new each day often leaves me wondering where all the time has gone. There are moments when I wish she would grow a little more slowly, even though I know growing up is simply part of life.
You see, we often find ourselves in two conflicting situations. We spend so much of our working lives wanting time to move faster, waiting for the weekend, the next holiday or the next career milestone. Yet, when it comes to our children, we wish we could hold on to certain moments just a little longer.
Perhaps that is one of the biggest shifts that comes with becoming a parent. We begin to see time differently. We realise that while career opportunities may come and go, certain stages of our children’s lives are fleeting. A missed school activity, a conversation before bedtime or an ordinary afternoon spent together may seem insignificant at the time, but these are the very moments that eventually become memories.
At the same time, we need to acknowledge that parenthood does not automatically make someone less ambitious, just as prioritising a career does not mean someone cares any less about their family. Every household has its own circumstances, and we rarely know the full story behind the choices people make.
But it does leave me wondering: how much are we willing to sacrifice in pursuit of professional success, and at what point do we begin to question whether the trade-off is worth it?
Because at the end of the day, work will always have another deadline, another meeting and another challenge waiting for us. But our children will only be this age once.
As another year comes to an end, perhaps it is worth asking ourselves what we want to carry into the next one. Is it more achievements, bigger responsibilities and another set of professional targets? Or a little more time for the people who make all those efforts worthwhile?
With the holiday season approaching, it may be a good time to plan a short getaway with your families and put the phones aside. Happy planning!
The views expressed here are those of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of Sarawak Tribune. The writer can be reached at Shirley.suat@gmail.com.
