KUCHING: Malaysians celebrate Father’s Day today.
According to Mental Health Association of Sarawak (MHAS), Kuching Branch Chairman, Dr Ng Boon Seng, Father’s Day is an opportune time to acknowledge the often-overlooked mental health challenges faced by fathers.
“While the day traditionally celebrates fatherhood, it also serves as a reminder of the importance of supporting men’s emotional wellbeing,” he told Sarawak Tribune.
“In our society, men are expected to endure, to suppress pain, to ‘man up’. But that outdated belief is costing lives. Depression in men is underdiagnosed.
“Suicide rates are significantly higher among men than women in Malaysia, and most heartbreakingly, too many fathers are suffering in silence until it’s too late.
“From the longhouses of Kapit to the offices of Kuching, fathers in Sarawak are doing more than we see.
“They work not only for the families they love but for the communities they serve, often sacrificing their own wellbeing along the way.
“They carry burdens as protectors, providers, caregivers and partners, and too often, they carry those burdens in silence,” he told Sarawak Tribune.
Dr Ng shared a story about a father who brought his two daughters to receive mental health care.
He had lost his wife years ago and ever since then, he had carried the world on his shoulders alone, working long hours by day, and caring for his girls by night.
“He made sure they had everything they needed – school, meals, safety, love. To the outside world, he was strong, reliable and steady. But when someone finally asked him about himself, not his children, he quietly broke down.”
Dr Ng said the father confessed that he was very tired.
“I feel alone all the time. I still miss her every day, but I can’t afford to fall apart. I have to be strong for them,” added the father.
Behind that strong face was a father drowning in unspoken grief, stretched thin by guilt, and numbed by years of emotional suppression.
No one had noticed. Not even the healthcare system because we never thought of asking the father, ‘Are you okay?’” said Dr Ng.
In conjunction with Father’s Day, Dr Ng reminded the society that we should continue to encourage all fathers and tell them loudly and clearly, “Your mental health matters, too!”
Dr Ng pointed out that it was not weak for fathers to talk about their emotions.
“It’s not selfish for them to care for their own wellbeing. It’s not shameful for them to grieve, to cry, and to rest.
“When fathers are mentally healthy, everyone benefits. Children grow up more secure. Marriages become stronger. Workplaces thrive. Community heals.
“We must create a Sarawak where fathers no longer have to put on a strong face while falling apart inside,” he said.
Dr Ng added it was always a noble idea or encouraging for families to ask the men in their lives how they were really doing, for employers to support mental health at the work place, for policy makers to invest in accessible mental health services for men, especially in rural areas, for fathers and men to reach out, speak up and allow themselves to be human.
To all fathers, he said, “MHAS stands ready to support you, whether through community outreach, counselling referrals or simply by listening, we are here.”
To the rest of the families, he advised, “This Father’s Day, let’s not just give gifts, let’s give space for fathers to be seen, heard and healed.
“Let strength includea vulnerability. Let love includes self-care. Let us honour our fathers, not just for what they do but for who they are.”
Dr Ng said many fathers grappled with issues such as depression, anxiety and the pressures of balancing work and family life.
However, societal expectations often discourage open discussions about these struggles.
Initiatives like International Fathers’ Mental Health Day aim to break this silence, encouraging fathers to seek support and fostering a culture of understanding and acceptance.
