‘Postpartum is a quest back to yourself. Alone in your body again. You will never be the same, you are stronger than you were.’ – Amethyst Joy
WHEN it comes to traditions, we often strive to follow and uphold them as they remain integral parts of our lives. One such tradition is confinement, a practice that maintains its relevance even in today’s modern world.
Having completed my 45-day confinement period, I can confidently say that the journey does not simply conclude there. Instead, it becomes about adapting, adjusting, and finding balance in the new rhythm of life as a mother.
Various cultures observe confinement in their unique ways. In Malay traditions, new mothers are encouraged to adhere to a carefully regulated diet, often rich in ginger, turmeric, and other “heating” ingredients believed to restore warmth and strength. Massage therapy, belly binding, and herbal baths are also commonly practised to aid recovery and assist the body in recuperating after childbirth.
Chinese traditions, on the other hand, emphasise strict rest, abstention from certain foods, maintaining body warmth at all times, and consuming herbal tonics believed to replenish energy and promote long-term health. Even seemingly minor activities like exposure to wind or bathing are approached with great caution.
For some mothers, these practices are non-negotiable. They derive comfort from the routines passed down through generations and the presence of experienced confinement ladies who guide them every step of the way. However, for others, confinement can feel restrictive, prompting modern mothers to adapt or even forgo certain customs in favour of flexibility and practicality.
This diversity makes each confinement experience unique. Some women may reflect on their confinement period as restful and even luxurious, thanks to the support they receive. In contrast, others might find it overwhelming, stressful, or isolated, particularly when reality diverges from expectations.
The role of confinement ladies has evolved into a specialised service industry. Today, packages can range from a few thousand ringgit to over RM5,000, depending on the level of care provided. These packages typically include cooking confinement meals, offering massages, assisting with baby care, and guiding mothers on recovery. For many families, this investment is worthwhile as it offers peace of mind during a vulnerable period.
However, like all services, there are risks involved. Incidents of families being scammed have surfaced on social media, where they have paid substantial deposits only to receive subpar service or no service at all. These occurrences serve as a reminder to exercise caution and discernment when engaging with confinement providers.
In our case, the situation took an unexpected turn. Despite initially arranging for a relative to assist during confinement, when those plans fell through, my husband and I found ourselves managing everything independently. As first-time parents, doubts frequently clouded our minds. We questioned our every move: Were we handling things correctly? Were we providing adequate care for our baby? Was our uncertainty normal?
The sleepless nights, incessant crying, and steep learning curve only intensified these uncertainties. Fortunately, we were not entirely alone. My mother would visit on weekends, lending a hand with the baby and affording us some rest. Similarly, my mother-in-law became a vital source of support, assisting with dinner preparations and looking after the baby, granting us moments of respite.
These small acts of kindness made a significant impact, reminding us that while parenthood can be overwhelming, it doesn’t have to be faced in isolation. Amidst the challenges, we realised that each late-night feeding, every diaper change, and every attempt to soothe our newborn served as invaluable lessons. Despite the exhaustion, these moments taught us patience, resilience, and, above all, the ability to trust ourselves as parents.
We came to understand that confinement isn’t solely about rituals, dietary restrictions, or herbal remedies.
It encompasses physical and emotional recovery, embracing the transition from individual or couple to a family unit.
Most importantly, it involves acknowledging that every mother’s journey is unique, and that individual experiences are valid.
Some mothers thrive with the support of confinement ladies, benefiting from structured care and comfort.
Others, like us, navigate through challenges, learning through trial and error, and relying on family support as available.
Neither experience outweighs the other, for what truly matters is the safety, health, and care of both mother and child.
It is often said that it takes a village to raise a child. Whether the village is expansive with numerous helping hands or more intimate, what truly counts is the strength, love, and support it provides.
Confinement is more than a tradition; it symbolises a period of transition, healing, and growth – a journey that each mother embarks on uniquely, with lessons that endure a lifetime.
The views expressed here are those of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of Sarawak Tribune. The writer can be reached at sarahhafizahchandra@gmail.com.
