IN late August 1997, I had to leave my daughter, Dawn Sara, then four years old, with my niece, Florence May Edward, at the Kedap longhouse.
I was heading to Miri en route to Brunei Darussalam. Deep down, I was reluctant to leave Dawn behind, but I trusted my beloved niece, who also had a young daughter, Ederence Santih, aged three.
Dawn didn’t cry when I hugged her goodbye.
My journey was of vital importance as a friend had promised me a lucrative job in the sultanate. I saw it as necessary to leave Sarawak for Brunei, even at the cost of being separated from my beloved daughter.
At that time, I had just separated from my wife. We had both hoped to improve our relationship after the mutual separation, promising each other to work towards a better future for our children.
Our eldest son, Jay Kingsley Gara, then seven, was with my wife after spending a few days at Kedap with me and Dawn. They stayed with their grandpa, Salok, who was 87 at the time.
When I returned a year later, driving a Brunei-registered Nissan Skyline 1.8L for Christmas at Kedap, I found the entire longhouse enjoying 24-hour electricity.
Our 1998 Christmas prayers were led by the newly appointed longhouse chief, Tuai Rumah Robert Lin Malina – my nephew and former classmate – who was also a lay reader.
On Christmas Eve, I enjoyed drinks with Uncle Musa Giri (now Datuk) in Dennis Jiram’s room, where he was staying for the festive season. A cousin of my mother was also on his way back from his vast palm oil estate in Badau, Kalimantan.
I returned the following Christmas as my contract included a return airfare from BSB to Kuching. In Sarawak, I rented a car from Kuching. The 1999 Christmas Eve at Kedap was especially memorable as several interesting events were held in the longhouse.
One highlight was a hilarious beauty pageant featuring only mothers and grandmothers as contestants. Some dressed so elegantly that their husbands and relatives barely recognised them, imitating the likes of Marilyn Monroe, Brigitte Bardot, Sophia Loren and Elizabeth Taylor.
One of the children, a toddler, burst into tears when he couldn’t recognise his mother, forcing her to withdraw halfway through the contest.
Nevertheless, she was awarded the prize for being the “Most Sporting Mom”. Every contestant received a special prize, with some of the prizes sponsored by myself, Datuk Musa, and other dignitaries.
In February 2002, I rushed back from BSB, Brunei when I learned my father (Apai) was gravely ill. I managed to bring home a second-hand, two-door Datsun Pulsar 1.6L with concealed headlights.
Though Apai was seriously ill, he remained conscious and lived for another four months, passing away on June 23, 2002, at around 4:00 am.
I stayed at the longhouse until the end of May.
On June 4, I was hired as a lecturer at Akademi ITC at King Centre, Kuching. But on June 22, I rushed back to Kedap and found Apai near the end. He could barely speak but he recognised me and held my hand.
He passed away around 4:00 am. This was our first family funeral in Edward’s room at Kedap.
Between 2002 and 2005, I made several visits to Kedap, as I shared an apartment in Jon’s Room 17. In 2003, I introduced my new spouse to my family and the longhouse community.
At the time, I was teaching English Language at Akademi ITC to unemployed graduates, with each session lasting six months across four sessions.
In early November 2006, I received a call from my brother, Edward Jelani, informing me that his wife had fainted and did not recover – she was pronounced dead during an event in Simanggang.
My wife and I travelled to Kedap to extend our condolences. Her funeral was the second held in Edward’s gallery, following Apai’s funeral four years earlier.
At that time, I was employed as a news editor at The Borneo Post. Between 2007 and 2019, I made various trips back to the Kedap longhouse, often returning for Gawai Dayak celebrations – most recently in 2024.
I always enjoyed these trips and the camaraderie with my brothers and their families. As I write this, I find myself missing Kedap deeply.
The views expressed here are those of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of Sarawak Tribune. The writer can be reached at tawisalok@yahoo.com.
