SMALL discoveries from a festive day with an eight-month-old
In the weeks leading up to Hari Raya Aidilfitri this year, I found myself wondering how Rafael’s first Raya would unfold.
Like many first-time mothers, I had a long list of small worries and expectations.
How would he react to visiting different homes? Would he be overwhelmed by the crowd? Would he try to grab every kuih within reach? And perhaps most importantly — would we manage to survive the day while keeping to his routine?
Now that the first week of Raya has come and gone, I can safely say that some of the things we predicted did happen.
Others surprised us entirely.
One thing we quickly discovered was that Rafael is not particularly fond of large, crowded spaces.
While he is generally cheerful and sociable, the moment a living room became too packed with people talking loudly and moving around him, he would start looking slightly overwhelmed.
It was not a full meltdown, but there were subtle cues such a change in his expression and a quiet clinginess that told us he needed a breather.
Like many parents of young babies, we are slowly learning how to read those signals.
In many ways, I suspect this is a familiar experience for first-time parents.
Every outing, every gathering, every new situation becomes a small lesson in understanding your child — learning their comfort zones, recognising their cues and figuring out how to adapt your plans accordingly.
Thankfully, once the environment was calmer, Rafael returned to his usual curious and cheerful self.
And curious he certainly was.
If there was one thing Rafael absolutely enjoyed during his first Raya, it was exploring people’s living rooms.
Every house presented a new landscape of furniture, cushions, coffee tables and decorative items that he inspected with great interest.
While adults chatted and exchanged festive greetings, Rafael seemed busy conducting his own quiet investigation of each home we visited.
Another pleasant surprise was how comfortable he was being surrounded and carried by others.
It was also the first time many relatives and friends were meeting him in person since he was born, so naturally everyone was eager to spend a few moments with the newest member of the family.
Rafael did not seem to mind at all.
He happily allowed himself to be passed from one loving pair of arms to another, observing each new face with wide-eyed curiosity.
Of course, celebrating Raya with an eight-month-old also means accepting that not everything will go according to plan.
For example, we had every intention of taking a proper family photo in our Raya outfits.
But like many things involving babies, that plan proved far more complicated than expected.
Between Rafael wanting to move, grab things, look elsewhere or simply deciding that the moment was not interesting enough for him, every attempt at a posed family picture somehow turned into a small series of shenanigans.
In the end, the photos we managed to capture were less “perfectly posed” and more “perfectly chaotic” but perhaps that makes them even more meaningful.
Another lesson from Rafael’s first Raya was learning to work around his schedule.
Before becoming parents, Raya visiting usually meant moving from house to house throughout the day without much thought about timing.
This year, however, every visit had to be carefully planned around Rafael’s nap times and feeding schedule.
If he was sleepy, the visit had to wait. If he had just woken up, that was our window of opportunity.
Because of this, we managed to visit around three to five houses at most throughout the day – far fewer than what we might have done in the past.
But strangely enough, it did not feel like we were missing out.
Instead of rushing from place to place, the visits felt more intentional and relaxed.
We spent meaningful time with the families we saw, rather than simply making quick appearances.
We also decided not to organise an open house this year.
Truthfully, it just did not seem feasible with Rafael – who, on certain days, transforms into what I jokingly call a “human koala”.
When he decides he wants to cling to me, he goes all out, wrapping himself around me with impressive determination.
Hosting a house full of guests while managing an extra clingy baby would probably have been more stressful than festive.
Instead, we kept things simple.
A few friends and colleagues dropped by over the course of the celebration to enjoy some cookies and slices of kek lapis, and those quieter visits turned out to be just right for us.
In fact, what we appreciated most about this year’s celebration was how relaxed it felt.
There was no rushing, no pressure to tick off an endless list of houses to visit.
Everything moved at Rafael’s pace – following his cues, adjusting to his moods and working around his naps.
Perhaps that is the rhythm of Raya now for our little family of three.
And in some quiet moments during the festivities, I found myself feeling unexpectedly emotional.
Because the truth is, this version of Rafael – the eight-month-old who clings to me like a koala, who studies every living room like a tiny explorer and who smiles happily when passed from one loving relative to another – will not stay the same for long.
Next Raya, he will be different.
Older, more mobile, perhaps running around instead of being carried.
That thought alone makes me want to hold on to these moments just a little longer.
Which is also why, this year, I decided to take a much-needed two-week break from work.
Not just to rest, but to slow down and soak in these early milestones of motherhood.
Because babies grow faster than we realise.
And Rafael’s first Raya is one memory I want to cherish for as long as possible.
The views expressed here are those of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of Sarawak Tribune. The writer can be reached at sarahhafizahchandra@gmail.com.
