By Jasnita Ahmad
KUCHING: Among the countless stories of motherhood that often go untold are about mothers of children with special needs.
These are the women who wake up every day fighting silent battles that most of us never see or understand.
They are mothers who hold their children’s hands through hospital corridors instead of playgrounds.
They are mothers who stay up all night but still manage to be there in the morning.
These are mothers who wait longer to hear the word ‘mum’, who live in a constant state of readiness, giving every ounce of themselves to help their children live lives that resemble any other child’s.
And yet, despite their strength, resilience and quiet heroism, they are rarely recognised in the way they deserve.
Today, we celebrate these mothers and honour the women they have become in the process of being everything their children need.
To understand what this journey truly looks like, Sarawak Tribune spoke to some mothers of children with special needs about their daily realities and the strength it took to keep going.
FAUZIAH AHMAD FAUZI, 43
Accounts clerk
‘As a mother raising a child with special needs, of course, I want the best for my son, Muhammad Fathuddin Hafiy, 11. But I learn to accept him as he is.
‘There are definitely times when it can feel overwhelming, but we have support groups that really help us through. It is not just for those with cerebral palsy. There are parents of children with autism and other conditions too. We meet up sometimes, just to talk and smile with each other. It truly helps.
‘Our children recognise each other and form bonds that others might not notice. I hope other parents can try to give their children early exposure to the world around them. Even something as simple as teaching them to smile when they see other children outside can make a big difference.
‘In my opinion, a simple smile can open hearts. It might seem small, but to us it means everything. There are moments when we worry about how others will react to our children. But when we go out and someone simply smiles at us, it helps us feel accepted.
‘I want my son to feel happy and free, just like any other child. That, for me, that is what being a mother truly means on this journey.’
MOLLY GU KIEN LEE, 44
Housewife
‘At first it was very hard for me to accept that my daughter,Gabriela Abigail Thomas,11, had Down Syndrome.
‘The doctor noticed it straight away from her facial features, but I just could not accept it. It took time. Now I have come to fully embrace her for who she is, and I have learnt to accept myself as her mother too.
‘She is my second and last child. Her elder sister is 25 years old. Gabriela brings so much joy to our family. Everything she does makes us laugh. Even when we do something wrong, she points it out in the funniest way. To her, life is just full of happiness. I thank her because before this, I did not know anything about special needs children. I didn’t even know what Down Syndrome really meant.
‘But because of her I have learnt so much. I have come to understand more about conditions like cerebral palsy, Global Developmental Delay, and autism. It is not just about physical disabilities. There is so much more to it emotionally and mentally.
‘Sometimes people look at Gabriela and do not realise she has special needs. But that does not change who she is. She is progressing well now especially since joining this school. She speaks more, she is more confident, and she is growing into her own person. I am so proud of her.
‘She may do things differently, but she has made me see the world in a new way. As a mother, all I want is for her to be happy and to be accepted. That is more than enough for me.’
Seng Sak Hwa, 47
Housewife
‘The most meaningful moments for me are simply watching my son, Bryan Ozil, grow up healthy and well, despite the challenges he faces.
‘He is the youngest of six children, and I love him unconditionally. On difficult days, I find strength through patience because caring for a child with special needs is no easy task. It takes endless perseverance, and giving up has never been an option.
‘What I hope others would understand is that my journey is not the same as that of other mothers.
‘Raising a child with special needs comes with its own set of trials and it is far from simple. But through it all, my son has taught me what true patience and strength really mean. He has changed the way I see motherhood and life itself.
‘To all the mothers out there in the same shoes, this Mother’s Day, be grateful for your special child even if he/she is not like the rest. Happy Mother’s Day.’
Nur Mardhiah Majidi, 37
Housewife
‘For me, every moment spent with my son, Awang Al Muayyad, 9, is meaningful. But the moments I cherish most are when I see him become independent in his own way, or when he receives an award at school for something he has achieved on his own.
‘I have three children, and Awang is my second child.
‘As for finding strength, to be honest, I am not always strong. There are days when I feel angry, sad, exhausted and close to giving up. But I have held on this long because of the strong support from my husband and family.
‘My other children are also my strength. Sometimes, when I cry or lose my temper, they are the ones who comfort me and show kindness.
‘What I truly hope others would understand is that mothers like us are only human. We have our limits. There are moments of frustration, moments of fatigue and moments where we just feel overwhelmed.
‘All we ask is to be given the space and time for our own version of ‘me time’, so we can feel calm again. It is like rebooting the body and mind, so we can continue caring for our children and managing our homes.
‘My first child taught me how to be a mother from scratch. It was like a trial phase, learning everything from the beginning. ‘My second child, who has special needs, taught me the meaning of patience, acceptance, and surrendering to what is.
‘My third child, the only daughter, taught me how to be gentle. The way we raise sons and daughters is different, and through them all, I have learned so much.
‘To all the mothers out there raising children with special needs, please remember that you are enough. You are a great person and a good mother.’
