The relentless enemy of sleep

LET me start by saying this: when I was a schoolboy in our village’s mission primary school in the early 1960s, mornings and I were mortal enemies.

If mornings were a person, I wouldn’t hesitate to have them tried for crimes against humanity. I’d march them into the village chief’s court with a list of grievances long enough to circle the equator.

I’d demand a public apology, reparations in the form of extra hours of sleep, and their immediate banishment from all social gatherings. But alas, mornings aren’t people – they’re unavoidable and relentless.

You see, I wasn’t just someone who disliked waking up early; I was a full-fledged activist against it. My bed was my sanctuary, my fortress of solitude, my utopia. Mornings, on the other hand, were the barbarian hordes at my gates, battering away with their loud cockerels and intrusive beams of sunlight.

Society, of course, didn’t make things easier. It tried to brainwash me into believing that early risers were a superior species. You know the type: the smug “I’m up at 5 am” brigade that seem to thrive on self-congratulation and unsolicited advice.

These were the people who wandered around sipping their tea or coffee, extolling the virtues of “seizing the day” while I clung to my pillow like a soldier clutching a shield in battle.

And, oh! The cockerels! We didn’t have fancy alarm clocks in those days, but we didn’t need them. The village cockerels were nature’s obnoxious wake-up call. They crowed with such zeal, such unbridled enthusiasm, that I often wondered if they were secretly conspiring against me. While other kids seemed to accept these feathered fiends as part of life, I harboured a deep-seated grudge.

In my dreams, I often constructed a utopia where mornings were optional, a mere suggestion rather than a mandate. Imagine a world where the sun didn’t rise until 10 am at the earliest, where the gentle hum of nature replaced the shrill crow of a cockerel, and where the phrase “early bird” was nothing more than a quaint myth. In this world, we’d luxuriate in our beds, basking in the warmth of our blankets, free from the tyranny of alarms or roosters.

But alas, reality always came crashing in, dragging me kicking and screaming into the harsh light of day.

Morning People: Who Hurt You?

Let’s address the elephant in the room: morning people. Who are they? What motivates them to rise before the sun, to leap out of bed with a spring in their step and a song in their heart? Are they fuelled by some alien energy source the rest of us lack? Or is their fervent devotion to early rising merely a desperate bid to feel morally superior?

Morning people love to preach about productivity. “The early bird catches the worm,” they chirp as if worms are the pinnacle of culinary delight. I’d much rather sleep in and catch a plate of ‘nasi lemak’ or ‘kolo mee’ at a reasonable hour. Gross! Worms? No, thank you.

Then there’s their insistence that waking up early gives you “more time in the day”. I’ve heard this argument more times than I can count, and it still baffles me. Sure, it gives you more hours, but at what cost? Do I want to spend those extra hours stumbling around in a sleep-deprived haze, guzzling coffee as if it’s the elixir of life? Not.

And let’s not forget their insufferable perkiness. Morning people are the type to greet you with a cheery “Good morning!” before you’ve even had a chance to locate your slippers. It’s unnatural, borderline menacing. Who hurt you, morning people? What trauma turned you into this beacon of early-day enthusiasm?

The Snooze Button: Humanity’s Greatest Invention

Enter the snooze button, humanity’s greatest weapon in the war against mornings. Whoever invented it deserves not just a medal but a statue erected in their honour. The snooze button is a tiny click of hope, a reminder that even in the darkest hours, we have the power to reclaim a few precious minutes of sleep.

For me, snoozing isn’t just a habit – it’s an art form. There’s a delicate balance to be struck. Hit the snooze button too many times, and you risk waking up in a panic, realising you’re late for work, school, or some other unfortunate obligation. But hit it just right, and you can savour those extra moments of bliss, a stolen reprieve from the day’s demands.

Of course, snoozing comes with its risks. I can’t count the number of times I’ve hit the button one too many times, only to wake up in a frenzy, scrambling to get dressed while clutching a piece of toast in my teeth like a chaotic Disney character.

But even then, there’s a certain thrill to it. Who needs morning yoga when you can get your heart racing with the adrenaline rush of running late?

For some, those extra minutes of snoozing are sacred. They’re a time to dream, to reflect, or to burrow deeper into the blankets. In a world that relentlessly pushes for productivity and efficiency, those stolen moments of rest feel like an act of defiance – a subtle reminder that sometimes, taking a break is more crucial than hurrying.

The Science of Sleep: Why I’m Right and Society Is Wrong

Now, let’s talk science. Because if there’s one thing I love more than sleeping in, it’s proving that I’m right. Studies have shown that not everyone’s internal body clock is the same.

Some of us are natural night owls, biologically programmed to feel more alert and productive in the evening. Forcing people like me to wake up early is like asking a fish to climb a tree – it’s not just impractical, it’s cruel.

Sleep is also essential for mental and physical health. Chronic sleep deprivation has been linked to a host of issues, from anxiety and depression to impaired cognitive function.

The next time someone tries to shame you for sleeping in, remind them that you’re prioritising your well-being. Self-care isn’t selfish – it’s science.

A Morning in the Life of a Non-Morning Person

Allow me to take you on a journey through my typical morning. The alarm clock goes off. Its shrill beeping shatters the blissful silence like a jackhammer. Groaning, I reach out blindly, searching for the snooze button with the desperation of someone clinging to a life raft.

When I finally manage to sit up, I look like a creature dragged from the depths of a swamp. My eyes are bleary, and my mood is downright hostile. I shuffle to the kitchen, where I pour a cup of coffee that’s less of a beverage and more of a lifeline.

As the caffeine slowly works its magic, I begin to resemble a functioning human being. But deep down, I’m still mourning the hours of sleep I’ve been forced to give up.

The Case for Sleeping In

Now let’s flip the script and talk about the joys of sleeping in. First of all, it’s delightful. There’s nothing quite like waking up naturally, without the jarring interruption of an alarm clock. It’s one of life’s simplest yet greatest pleasures.

Sleeping in also allows you to enjoy the quiet magic of the late night. While early risers are tucked into bed, night owls like me get to experience the calm serenity of midnight.

The world feels quieter, the air cooler, and the possibilities endless. Whether it’s binge-watching a favourite show, diving into a good book, or simply enjoying the stillness, there’s something uniquely satisfying about being awake as the rest of the world sleeps.

My Final Word

In closing, let me say it loud and clear: I despise rising early, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Waking up early might work for some people, but it’s not for everyone. Life is too short to spend it fighting against your natural sleep patterns or pretending to be something you’re not.

So to all my fellow late risers, stay strong. Hit that snooze button with pride. Sleep in unapologetically. And the next time someone tries to lecture you about the virtues of waking up early, smile, nod, and go back to bed.

Because at the end of the day – or should I say, the beginning of the day – living life on your terms is the ultimate victory.

Long live the night owls and the late risers. May we forever bask in the warmth of our blankets, and the quiet magic of the midnight hour.

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“Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.” – Glen Cook, an American writer of science fiction and fantasy

He is best known for his series of fantasy novels, particularly ‘The Black Company’ series, which has gained a significant following in the fantasy genre. Cook’s works often feature gritty, realistic portrayals of characters and settings within a dark and complex world. His writing style and storytelling have earned him a dedicated fan base among readers of fantasy literature.

The views expressed here are those of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the Sarawak Tribune. The writer can be reached at www.hayhenlin@gmail.com