“Children will not remember you for the material things you provided, but for the feeling that you cherished them.”
– Richard L Evans
“DON’T go, Mummy,” she sobbed, her small voice trembling through a stream of tears.
“I’m sorry, my dear, but I have to work. I’ll pick you up later.”
She cried louder and whispered, “My heart breaks when you go.”
Have you ever experienced moments like this? I’m sure they never get easier, especially as children begin to grow out of infancy and into a stage of emotional awareness where presence means everything. They’re no longer simply seeking attention; they’re yearning for deep connection.
In our daily rhythm, they expect to see us when they wake, and they hope we’ll be the ones putting them to sleep. However, as responsibilities creep in, it’s easy to become distracted and let work take precedence over family.
That’s why we, as working parents, must learn to “switch off” when we return home – to be fully present and attentive to our children. It’s not easy, for sure. Just as the saying goes: growing up is tough, adulting is tougher … but parenting? Parenting is a whole different ball game.
Parenting: A Crash Course in Emotional Intelligence
Motherhood has taught me things no book or seminar ever could. Becoming a mother isn’t just a change in title – it reshapes how you perceive the world. The sleepless nights, the endless questions, the laughter, the tears – they teach you things about resilience, empathy, and humanity that no textbook ever could.
One of the biggest revelations I’ve had is that kids today, in their world of overstimulation, don’t truly crave more toys or gadgets. What they really hunger for is our presence: meaningful, distraction-free quality time. Time where we’re not half-scrolling or multitasking, but fully present with them. These are the moments that shape their sense of love and security.
And through this time, we communicate not just with words, but through glances, gestures, tone, and energy. It’s a language all its own.
Why Communication Matters More Than Ever
You see, parenting communication isn’t just about giving instructions, saying “I love you”, or disciplining wisely. Similarly, spending intentional time with our children isn’t just an activity – it’s a powerful form of communication. It’s how they feel seen, heard, and deeply loved. When we share moments with them, we open doors to their thoughts and emotions. This is the dialogue we truly want: one built on trust, attention, and empathy.
Just yesterday, over dinner, a friend of mine shared his emotional struggle. His daughter, who used to jump into his arms after work, has become a quiet teenager who prefers the solitude of her room. The shift felt sudden. To him, it was painful yet confusing.
His first instinct was to question her behaviour, thinking something was wrong. But then it hit him: he had been missing too many moments. Too many bonding chances gone in favour of deadlines and distractions.
Thankfully, he realised it sooner. Now, when his daughter randomly asks him out for supper, he drops everything. Because he knows – those invitations may not come often, but each one is a golden opportunity to reconnect.
His story echoed deeply with me. Children grow, and with each stage comes a different rhythm of connection. We cannot assume that just because they’re older, they no longer need us. In fact, during those awkward, complex stages like adolescence, they need us more than ever – even if they don’t say it.
Bonding Isn’t a Luxury. It’s a Necessity.
Quality time with your children isn’t just a sweet bonus – it’s emotional nourishment. Through shared time, we speak the language of love. We teach our kids they matter, and we offer them a space where they can reflect, process, and thrive.
Communication through connection is how children develop emotional intelligence, confidence, and healthy relational habits. When we prioritise these moments, we’re not just making memories – we’re also forming the emotional backbone of their future.
This requires commitment and effort from us, the parents. Even now, I find myself learning and constantly reminding myself that quality time truly matters.
So next time your child wants to show you something, even if it’s just a silly drawing or a chaotic Lego world, pause for a moment. Be present. Listen wholeheartedly. Laugh with them.
Because one day, they’ll look back not on how clean the house was or how many toys they had, but on whether they felt understood. Whether they felt loved.
And I promise – that’s what they’ll remember most.
The views expressed here are those of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of Sarawak Tribune. The writer can be reached at Shirley.suat@gmail.com.
