“Man is disturbed not by things, but by the views he takes of them.“
– Marcus Aurelius
DEAR readers,
I remember vividly the thrill of the first loudspeaker phone in the 90s – Alcatel.
As a teenager reminiscing about technological evolution, we were all geeky and dorky back then, especially the SPM class of 2000.
The modem’s dial-up hum, Nokia 3310s, Motorola V-Razors, and Sony-Ericsons with built-in MP3 players defined our world.
Then, 25 years ago in 2006, the touchscreen war erupted – Microsoft, Apple, NEC, and Samsung clashing.
Apple’s 2007 iPhone launch forever changed mobile phones. That year, I graduated, celebrating with 2,000 peers from diverse faculties and countries.
I earned my Bachelor’s in Mass Communications from Curtin University, majoring in Film and TV Production.
Only two Sarawakians finished in my cohort: Brian Lam and I.
Brian launched the Asian Food Channel later; others chased their dreams – as did I, by staying in Kuching.
Can you imagine 2027? It’s nearly here.
This column wasn’t planned this way. But recent news on youth graduation and upskilling shifted my intro.
In hindsight, it fits perfectly. Before diving into Digital Zen, remember: phones once meant calls and texts.
Now, the world is a swipe away. Smartphones, powered by AI, are agentic devices – computers in our pockets with endless tools.
Can you sit through a family dinner without your phone?
This question brings us back.
Picture this: The table is set, plates passing hand to hand. But a quieter scene unfolds – a phone streams a show against the sugar jar, a teen’s thumbs tapping under the table.
You feel the pull to check your device for a work email. Look around: How many are truly present?
This is the ‘Alone-Together Paradox’ – shared spaces with fractured minds – physically together, emotionally scattered across digital streams. It’s our new normal.
Within this paradox hides a crisis of attention. Ever feel frustrated without connection? It seems harmless, but it’s a vicious cycle.
Studies link screens to rising anxiety, stress, and poor sleep. For teens, 85 per cent struggle to stop once started (Pew Research Center, 2023).
These stats reveal a deeper truth: the digital river grows darker the further you wade.
In my own life, as a sub-editor at Sarawak Tribune, I’ve seen how constant notifications fragment focus – a quick scroll during a meeting can derail an entire conversation, mirroring the dinner table dilemma.
What now? Gadget addiction makes disconnection awkward. We exhaust ourselves scrolling, swiping, obeying – or learn to navigate like ancient sailors.
Back to the family dinner …
In that glow, digital takeover reigns. As a parent, friend, or partner, when you spot the paradox, what next? Timeless wisdom offers a lifeline.
Centuries ago, Lao Tse in the Dao De Jing asked: “Fame or life – which is dearer? Wealth or life – which is greater? Gain or loss – which is more painful?”
As you watch from across the table, let your inner dialogue echo these thoughts:
Illusion of connection or true presence – which is dearer? Viral post or shared memory – which is greater? Scroll anxiety or quiet moment – which is more painful?
The answer emerges in silent reflection. This is Digital Zen‘s first step: the pause.
Freedom lies in the gap between notification and reaction.
Dao teaches Wu Wei – not passivity, but flow-aligned action. Don’t fight the current; feel its pull without surrender.
To hold steady awareness, anchor in Stoic resolve, fortified by Islamic sabr (endurance).
Stoics remind us we control our judgment – prohairesis (choice) – not the digital storm.
At a screen-filled table, sabr endures distraction’s itch, favouring human conversation over likes’ dopamine rush.
This is the synthesis: Mindful chaos embrace.
Leadership ripples quietly. Change comes not from rules, but demonstration. As a parent or friend, set your phone down deliberately. Others notice, following suit without words.
This quiet power rebuilds through eye contact. I’ve tried this in my own family gatherings – starting with a simple “phone basket” ritual – and it transforms the energy, turning awkward silences into genuine laughter.
Reality check: this is conditioning. Like a warrior training for pressure, Digital Zen builds intentional attention – focusing on a loved one’s story, meal flavours, or conversation silence, not hijacked awareness.
No grand detox needed; small repetitions suffice. Breathe when the buzz tempts. Leave the phone elsewhere for an hour, embracing discomfort until peace arrives.
This foundation – disciplined, resilient attention – navigates chaos. The method? One practice: pause at the unconscious reach and ask, “Digital glow or present reality?” No answer needed.
Power is in the question. Reclaim choice – intention over impulse, warmth over screen light. The sea persists.
Choose: drown in waves or chart your course.
Let conditioning begin with Lao Tse’s questions: Which is dearer? Which is greater? Which is more painful?
To put this into practice tonight, try swapping screens for connection: Download the free app “Heads Up!” – a hilarious charades-style game that gets everyone laughing and talking without phones.
It’s perfect for family dinners, turning the Alone-Together Paradox into shared joy.
Share your stories on our Facebook page at facebook.com/sarawaktribune – tell us: how did it go? Let’s build more mindful moments together.
The views expressed here are those of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of Sarawak Tribune.
