“Tolerance is giving to every other human being every right that you claim for yourself.”
– Robert Green Ingersoll
WE live in an era where people are more emotionally aware than ever, and rightly so. Sensitivity is often a sign of empathy and emotional intelligence. But without tolerance, that sensitivity can quickly spiral into outrage, judgment, and division.
And being tolerant doesn’t mean we must agree with everything. It simply means we respect each other’s right to disagree without turning those disagreements into conflict. This is where communication becomes crucial. Tolerance and communication are partners where one cannot exist meaningfully without the other.
First, let’s talk about the value of tolerance in personal relationships, especially romantic ones.
Love is often misunderstood as just passion or emotional highs. But if you ask couples who’ve been married for 20 or 30 years what the secret is, most of them won’t say “chemistry”. They’ll say tolerance.
It’s tolerance that keeps you grounded when things get tough. It’s what helps you give your partner space when they’re dealing with their own struggles. And it’s tolerance that allows two people to grow, evolve, and remain imperfect together.
In my own life, I’ve learned that love isn’t about finding someone who fits perfectly into your world. It’s about learning to live with each other’s quirks, to compromise, and to endure the not-so-pretty parts of life as a team.
This applies the same to the workplace.
Tolerance is just as essential there. It’s often misunderstood as passivity or weakness, but in truth, it’s a powerful leadership trait.
Every workplace brings together people with different communication styles, work habits, personalities, and values. Without tolerance, we risk becoming impatient, dismissive, or intolerant of others who don’t work the same way we do.
But when we choose tolerance, we create room for collaboration. We adapt. We build stronger, more diverse teams; ones that are not only productive but also resilient.
And here’s another part we often forget: tolerance isn’t just about how we treat others. It’s also about how we treat ourselves.
Many of us carry the weight of impossible expectations. We beat ourselves up for mistakes. We expect perfection in every area of life. But real growth is messy. It involves detours, setbacks, and failures.
When we cultivate self-tolerance, we stop trying to control every outcome. We start accepting our flaws and begin to understand that it’s okay to be a work in progress. Just like the Japanese philosophy of wabi-sabi, which teaches us to embrace imperfection and impermanence. It reminds us that beauty lies in the broken, the incomplete, and the unfinished.
Remember, practicing self-compassion doesn’t make us lazy, it makes us human. And when we are kinder to ourselves, that kindness naturally flows outward to those around us.
Why Am I Emphasising This?
The value of tolerance couldn’t be more relevant than now, especially as we celebrate the Merdeka season. Reflecting on how Malaysia gained independence in 1957, giving us the freedom we enjoy today, it all came down to tolerance.
You see, our independence didn’t ask us to be the same. It invited us to stand together in all our beautiful differences – different ethnicities, religions, cultures, and languages.
Because unity and harmony aren’t about blending into one colour; they’re about weaving all colours into one fabric. They’re not about erasing differences, but about honouring them.
After all, a tolerant society doesn’t mean we need to agree on everything to live in harmony or avoid talking about differences. What we need is the willingness to tolerate – to speak with kindness, to listen with patience, to talk with compassion and respect, and to treat one another with dignity, even when we don’t agree.
The views expressed here are those of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of Sarawak Tribune. The writer can be reached at Shirley.suat@gmail.com.
