“DID I do well?”
It was a question that stayed with me longer than it should have – lingering after a delayed project or an awkward presentation. I’m sure many have encountered this before. Especially if you’ve been in the corporate world long enough, you would know this isn’t unusual. In fact, it is almost routine. Yet, for many of us, especially those who take pride in their work, it feels deeply personal.
High performers tend to tense up when things don’t go according to plan. A missed deadline feels like a reflection of their competence. A poorly received presentation replays in their minds long after the meeting ends. And sometimes, the silence of others speaks louder than words we wish we hadn’t heard.
So the question returns, quietly but persistently: why take it so seriously?
Somewhere along the way, many of us have unknowingly subscribed to a few “corporate myths” – small, unspoken ideas that shape how we feel at work, often more than the work itself.
Myth #1: Everything is about me
When a project stalls or a colleague seems disengaged, it is easy to turn inward. We dissect our tone, our wording, even our expressions.
“Did I say something wrong? Did I come across too strong? Did I not communicate well? Will I be judged?”
But truth be told, most of the time, people are too consumed with their own pressures to analyse ours. The work KPI is rarely about how polished your sentences sounded in a meeting. It is about outcomes, consistency, and whether you deliver what matters at the end of the day.
But don’t get me wrong here. Continuing to learn and improve is important, but don’t let that make you doubt yourself. Doing your best is what counts. The rest is often just noise.
Myth #2: Perception is everything
We spend a surprising amount of energy managing how we are perceived. We second-guess how we present ourselves, wondering if we sounded confident enough, smart enough, or even likeable enough.
But perception is a moving target. What impresses one person may not matter to another. When we anchor our confidence to how others might interpret us, we place it on unstable ground.
Myth #3: Exclusion means rejection
We have all been there. A group of colleagues chatting. You walk over, and the conversation shifts. Someone glances away. Another suddenly remembers something “urgent” and leaves.
It stings. Naturally, the mind fills in the blanks: Were they talking about me? Am I being left out?
Maybe they were. Maybe they weren’t.
But not every moment of exclusion carries meaning. Sometimes, it is timing. Sometimes, it is context. And more often than not, it has nothing to do with you at all.
Even if it did, must it define how you feel about yourself?
Myth #4: You have to carry everything
There is an unspoken expectation among high performers where they have to hold it all together, all the time. To not falter, not complain, not show that something small affected them more than it should, all while continuing to perform and achieve at their best.
In a recent conversation I had with my peers, I noticed this pattern. High performers admitted they internalised these moments more deeply by replaying conversations, questioning intent, carrying the emotional weight longer. Others were more likely to acknowledge it briefly, then move on.
It is not about who is right or wrong. It simply shows how differently we react in the same environment.
And perhaps, a reminder that not everything needs to be carried for so long. Which brings me to what may matter most – the quiet antidote to all of this.
A trusted circle.
It does not need to be a large one nor a curated one. Just a few people who allow you to be unfiltered. A space where you can say, “This bothered me”, without needing to justify why. A space where honesty is met with both empathy and perspective.
Because a good circle does more than comfort. It grounds you. It reminds you when you are overthinking, when you are being too hard on yourself, and when it is time to let go.
In many ways, that circle becomes your reset button. And sometimes, that role is also held by a mentor, someone who not only guides you professionally, but quietly reflects you back to yourself.
Essentially, the workplace, for all its structure and expectations, is still a deeply human space. It comes with emotions, misunderstandings, and moments that feel bigger than they really are.
Painful? Sometimes.
Worth holding on to? Not always.
At the end of the day, we often care far more about how others perceive us than they actually do. We magnify passing moments into lasting narratives.
And perhaps, the real lesson is this: not everything deserves that level of seriousness.
Ultimately, what matters most is this: do your work well. Show up with integrity. Learn where you can.
But for everything else like the awkward pauses, the imagined judgments, or the fleeting exclusions, maybe it is enough to pause and ask:
Why take it so seriously?
The views expressed here are those of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of Sarawak Tribune. The writer can be reached at Shirley.suat@gmail.com.
