THERE’S no denying it: the way we communicate has changed drastically over the past two decades.
Once upon a time, communication was simple – a look in the eye, a spoken word, a nod or a smile. Face-to-face interactions carried the full spectrum of human nuance: tone, body language, and facial expression.
We paid close attention to how we spoke to others, especially in person. Courtesy, tact, and timing played a key role in how messages were both delivered and received.
But today, that landscape has shifted.
With the rise of smartphones and a growing list of digital messaging platforms – WhatsApp, Gmail, Telegram, Messenger, Instagram, LinkedIn, and others – our primary communication has moved from verbal to written.
Face-to-face conversations are no longer the default. And as our habits evolve, so must our understanding of what it means to communicate well.
Here’s the irony: most of us are still careful and diplomatic in person. We watch our tone, choose our words, and adjust our delivery based on how others react. But when we switch to messaging – especially in casual formats – that careful filter often disappears.
How many times have we received a WhatsApp message that seemed abrupt or even rude, only to realise later the sender meant no harm? Or worse, how many times have we sent a message that, on second reading, came off much harsher than we intended?
This is one of the biggest pitfalls of digital communication: the absence of tone. In-person, a smile can soften a critique, and a warm voice can reassure you. But in text, everything is open to interpretation – sometimes the wrong one.
Take a simple “OK.” with a full stop. To the sender, it might seem neutral. To the receiver, it can sound curt or annoyed. Even common responses like “Noted” – meant to be efficient – can come off as dismissive without context. The intention may be innocent, but perception is everything.
Texting, by design, is fast and efficient. It encourages brevity. But in our rush to reply, we often sacrifice courtesy. We skip greetings, drop pleasantries, or fire off responses that feel abrupt or impersonal.
That’s why we increasingly turn to emojis, punctuation, and stickers to express tone. A “Thank you!” feels warmer than a flat “Thanks.” Yet even these tools aren’t foolproof. The gap between what is meant and felt can still be surprisingly wide.
What’s even more puzzling is how people who are polite, respectful, and warm in person can come across as cold or blunt in writing. It’s as if the screen strips away their usual charm.
Part of this may stem from the illusion that digital communication is somehow “lighter” or less consequential – that a quick message isn’t as meaningful as a call or conversation.
Add to that the emotional distance created by not seeing the other person’s reaction, and it’s easy to forget the impact our words can have.
But make no mistake: words on the screen carry weight. Sometimes more than spoken words. A poorly worded message can echo in someone’s mind for hours, even days. And once it’s sent, it can’t be unsaid.
What’s more, many people have a double standard. They expect politeness from others but don’t always offer the same.
They bristle at a blunt “K” but think nothing of leaving someone on read or responding with a thumbs-up to a heartfelt message.
This kind of digital asymmetry chips away at mutual respect. Like face-to-face communication, texting should be a two-way street – a shared space of attentiveness, clarity and courtesy.
In today’s world, the ability to communicate clearly and kindly via text isn’t nice to have – it’s essential. Yet we rarely teach it.
We teach our children to speak politely, to say “please” and “thank you”, to listen before responding. But how often do we teach them how to write a respectful message; How to respond to an email, or how to clarify their tone in a group chat?
Schools typically focus on formal writing – essays, reports, and speeches. But real life is filled with informal communication: texting co-workers, replying to clients, messaging community groups, and coordinating with superiors. These everyday exchanges require just as much care and clarity.
Learning to write a good message – to choose the right words, punctuation, and tone – is a life skill we all need to master.
As we embrace the convenience of digital platforms, perhaps we also need to relearn the art of communication – not just with our voices, but with our thumbs.
That means thinking before we type, just as we think before we speak. It means remembering that there’s a real person on the other side of that glowing screen.
And it means being consistent. If we’re kind and respectful in person, let’s reflect that in our messages. If we pride ourselves on being good communicators, let’s extend that effort to every platform – not just in meetings or over dinner, but also in the quiet buzz of our inboxes and group chats.
A well-crafted message can brighten someone’s day, clear up a misunderstanding, or rekindle a connection. It can show care, foster trust, and remind others they matter.
Because in the end, the medium may have changed, but the goal remains the same: to connect, to understand, and to be understood.
In this age where we type more than we talk, perhaps we treat our messages with the same respect as our conversations over coffee – with attention, warmth and a little grace.
After all, in today’s world, a text might be the new handshake.
The views expressed here are those of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of Sarawak Tribune. The writer can be reached at drnagrace@gmail.com.
