BY now, those who regularly read my Thoughtful Threads column (thank you for being my avid readers!) would know that I am a firm believer in building relationships and rapport.
It is something I have carried with me throughout my career in communications. Whether you realise it or not, we spend so much time talking about communication, from conveying messages and managing expectations to building relationships, engaging stakeholders and protecting reputations.
But if you strip all of that away, communication is really about one thing: building rapport and trust between people.
That was why a recent business conversation left me thinking. During the meeting, someone made a point that really stayed with me. He said, “Money is what matters most, regardless.” The logic was that you can get things done with money. And if a relationship is affected along the way, well, money can eventually help rebuild it when you need that person again.
I have to admit, I was surprised by that perspective. Not because I don’t understand the importance of money, but because the belief that money can build or rebuild a broken relationship still seems to persist. And I find that difficult to agree with.
And that makes me wonder: Are we sometimes confusing the value of a transaction with the value of trust?
They are not the same thing.
While you can pay someone for a service, you cannot pay someone to genuinely believe in you. It is similar to a deal. You can offer someone a better deal, but you cannot guarantee that they will continue to trust your word.
Also, you can perhaps buy your way back into a room, but that does not necessarily mean you have regained the confidence of the people sitting around the table.
Just think about the people who have worked closely with you recently. Do they call or drop you a note to check how things are with you? Do they update you when there’s something new happening in town? Or do they simply disappear and reappear when they need something from you?
From these examples, you can tell a lot about a person by what they do when a situation arises. You see, those who value relationships do not expect anything in return, let alone monetary benefits. These are the people who genuinely treat you as a peer (or a friend) because of the trust you have built over time.
This is where communication comes into the picture.
People sometimes think communication is about having the right words. In reality, some of the most important communication happens without much being said.
I have always found this fascinating about communications. We can spend weeks developing a corporate message, preparing talking points and refining every sentence. But sometimes, the most powerful message is simply whether you keep your word.
That is why I think trust is less about what we say and more about the pattern of behaviour people experience from us.
And trust doesn’t come overnight through one good conversation or one generous gesture, like buying someone a meal.
Instead, trust is the accumulation of small experiences and the way we genuinely invest in a relationship.
This topic of trust becomes even more important when we talk about leadership. People watch what leaders do, particularly when there is something to gain or lose.
If a senior person consistently puts immediate financial benefits ahead of commitments, people may eventually learn an uncomfortable lesson: that relationships are valuable only for as long as they are commercially useful.
When every relationship becomes transactional, believe me, it eventually loses its meaning and purpose. No one would go the extra mile, nor would they be willing to accommodate your requests when things become difficult.
Ironically, a purely money-driven approach can eventually create the very environment where everyone is constantly looking for the next transaction.
And that, to me, is where the business case for trust becomes interesting.
Trust does not mean putting relationships above business. It means understanding that relationships are part of the business.
Essentially, while money tells us what something is worth today, trust tells us whether the relationship will still have value tomorrow.
Over the years, working and networking with various stakeholders from different backgrounds and with different experiences, I am glad to have met so many wonderful people while staying true to what I believe in.
If there is one thing I would share, it is this: invest in building and maintaining relationships, rather than letting money become the focus of every interaction.
After all, who knows? You might just find true friends along the way, even through your work. And I am glad to say that I’m blessed in that way!
The views expressed here are those of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of Sarawak Tribune. The writer can be reached at Shirley.suat@gmail.com.
