Every morning, people go to work, meet deadlines, answer messages and smile as usual. Asked how they are, they often say, “I’m fine.” Yet behind that response may lie hidden struggles, sleepless nights, anxiety and worries that remain unseen, even as work continues and life appears perfectly normal.
The office closed hours ago. But inside the mind, work never ended.
The Employee Nobody Realises Is Struggling
Not everyone struggling at work looks distressed. Some of the most exhausted people remain dependable, arriving on time, helping others and continuing to perform. Behind this apparent strength may be fear of mistakes, pressure to meet targets, difficult supervisors, workplace conflict, financial responsibilities or constant demands. Therefore, wellbeing should not be judged by appearances alone. A person can remain productive, responsible and composed while quietly carrying emotional or mental struggles that others cannot see.
When Work Follows You Home
Work stress is not always dramatic. It can mean repeatedly checking tomorrow’s schedule, replaying difficult conversations or thinking about work before sleep. Although the body is home, the mind remains at the office. Over time, home may stop feeling restorative. Sundays become stressful, notifications trigger tension, and even family conversations can be disrupted by persistent thoughts about work.
The body has clocked out. The mind has not
And Then Sleep Begins to Change
The Work Domain can quietly affect another vital part of life: sleep. Physical exhaustion alone does not guarantee restful sleep; the brain must also reduce alertness. Repeatedly worrying, planning, checking the clock or responding to work messages at bedtime can make sleep harder. Some may also wake at night with an active mind. One difficult night does not mean insomnia, as sleep naturally varies. However, persistent sleep difficulties that cause distress or affect daytime functioning should be properly assessed rather than dismissed as “stress”.
The 2 A.M. Meeting Nobody Scheduled
Waking in the middle of the night can bring tomorrow’s work meeting immediately to mind. Questions arise: “What if I cannot finish it?” or “What will I say tomorrow?” Soon, there are two problems—the original work concern and anxiety about sleep. Checking the time, calculating remaining hours and trying desperately to sleep can increase frustration and alertness. Over time, the bed itself may become associated with worry, effort and wakefulness rather than rest, making it increasingly difficult to sleep peacefully.
The Dangerous Normalisation of Exhaustion
We sometimes admire people who survive on four hours of sleep, treating exhaustion as proof of commitment. But sacrificing sleep is not a sustainable productivity strategy. Inadequate sleep can affect attention, mood, judgement, reaction time and work performance, while making workplace frustrations harder to manage. Ironically, those sacrificing recovery to perform may eventually struggle to maintain the very performance they are trying so hard to achieve.
When Stress Is Not the Whole Explanation
Not every sleep problem is caused by work. Persistent sleep difficulties may involve medical conditions, medications, sleep disorders, anxiety, hormonal changes, lifestyle or irregular schedules. The Love Forensic™ approach therefore investigates rather than assumes. Ask what changed, when it began, whether sleep improves on non-working days, and whether snoring, breathing pauses, substances or medications are involved. Work may trigger or maintain the problem, but it can also be only one part of a larger picture requiring proper assessment.
The Love Forensic™ Investigation
When someone says, “I can’t sleep,” the whole evening should be examined, not just the bedroom. Consider when work really ends mentally, what happens before bed, recurring thoughts and what happens after waking at night. Also examine early bedtimes, weekend sleep-ins, excessive naps, clock-watching and prolonged time in bed. These details matter because the original trigger and the current sleep pattern may eventually become separate problems.
Sometimes the bedroom is not where the problem started. It is simply where the problem finally became impossible to ignore.
Work Should Not Own the Night
A useful first step is creating a psychological boundary between work and sleep. Before bedtime, write down unfinished tasks and the next action for tomorrow, and decide when work messages will stop unless there is a genuine emergency. Allow a transition period through a shower, quiet conversation, light reading or gentle movement. Most importantly, avoid turning bedtime into a performance test. Do not force yourself to sleep; create conditions that allow sleep naturally. If insomnia persists, evidence-based treatment such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I) may be appropriate after suitable assessment.
A Question for Employers Too
Stress is not solely an employee’s responsibility. Workplace cultures also shape wellbeing. Constant after-hours messages, rewarding exhaustion, fear of taking leave and unreasonable workloads can undermine recovery. Healthy organisations need performance, but also rest. Employees may continue functioning without adequate recovery, but functioning is not the same as flourishing.
Love Forensic™ Action Steps This Week
Try three small experiments: set a realistic end to work communication, write tomorrow’s three priorities before finishing work, and ask yourself what you need to let go of tonight.
“What does my mind need in order to understand that today is finished?”
The answer may be simpler than you think.
Dr. Ben’s Reflection
A career should build a life, not consume it. Work will always have another email or deadline. Tonight, switch off, give your mind permission to rest, and ask: “Did I leave work behind, or bring it home mentally?” Success is not endless productivity; sometimes it is knowing when to stop.
NEXT SATURDAY — ISSUE NO. 12
WHEN WORK FOLLOWS YOU TO BED
Why You Are Tired but Still Cannot Sleep
You are exhausted. Your eyes are heavy. You desperately want to sleep. But the moment your head touches the pillow, your mind wakes up.
Why do some people repeatedly wake at two or three in the morning? Why can trying harder to sleep sometimes make sleep feel even further away? And how can the brain begin associating the bed with wakefulness instead of rest?
Next Saturday, Love Forensic™ investigates the work-stress-sleep cycle more closely — including conditioned arousal, sleep anxiety and why insomnia can continue even after the original stressful period has passed.
Because sometimes, “I can’t sleep” is not the beginning of the story. It is the clue that tells us where to start looking.
Dr. Benfadzil Mohd Salleh
Forensic Psychologist | Founder, Benfadzil Academy
HP: 0122350404 email: drbenfadzil@gmail.com
Love Forensic™ — The Six Life Domains™
Understanding People • Strengthening Families • Building Communities • Developing Nations
The views expressed here are those of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of Sarawak Tribune.
