KUCHING: April 27, 2012, is a date etched in Along’s (not his real name) memory, the day he finally took his first step toward breaking free from drugs and alcohol and reclaiming his life.
It has been 13 years since that turning point, and Along has remained sober, healthier than ever and earning an honest living in the car wash industry.
In an exclusive conversation with the Sarawak Tribune, Along opened up about his dark past, what led him to drug and alcohol addiction, recovery, and his message to the future generation.
Family issue the beginning
Along revealed that in 1998, his parents were divorced, and when his dad left, he did not leave anything behind for him and his mum.
“We had to survive on our own, and my mum had to take on the role of mum and dad. Life became tough for me and my mum, and slowly everything came crashing down,” he said.
Even though Along followed the footsteps of his father, who was a heavy smoker and drinker, he went further than him, which was getting into drugs.
“Deep down I blamed him for a lot of things, and instead of facing it, I channeled that into substance use,” he added.
Getting into drugs for the first time, Along said it felt fun at first, stating that it was one of the ways to distract himself from family problems and everyday struggles.
“But after the high wore off, regret would set in. Even so, the addiction grew stronger until it felt like a ‘must’.
“When I was sober, I could not stop thinking about using again and again. I used drugs so that it would keep my mind away from painful thoughts, along with focusing on work.
“However, after work, I would also drink and take substances to escape again,” he stated.
Over time, Along said his addiction affected everything, from his job, mental and emotional wellbeing, to his relationship with his family, friends and even loved ones.
“When you are surrounded by people who’s using substance, you feel like you’re the best, it’s as if you can do anything. But in reality, you’re damaging yoursef.
“My family had never looked at me the same. And from that point, I never hid my substance use from them. My mum even tried to sign me up for rehab, but I ignored her.
“At work, I felt like I could not function without any substances, because they controlled my body. Without them, I felt weak and useless,” he said.
Turning point
There was a time where Along managed to stop using drugs and alcohol in 2006, but somehow relapsed about two years later.
Then about a week before April 27, 2012, he had a dream. In that dream, a voice told him to stop with the drug use before his life completely fell apart.
“I came back from a nightclub, fell asleep and then had that dream. At first, I brushed it off, but then the same dream came back on the night of April 27.
“When I woke up, I decided to gather all my drugs and threw them away. I told myself, ‘No turning back’,” he said.
The first instance of recovery was the easiest for Along, as he would simply hide himself at home.
“But by the second and third month, it got harder. I lost my friends, had no energy to work and felt paranoid.
“For instance, if I see a stranger walking by me, I would assume that person is a police officer, coming to get me. But with the support of my loved ones, I pushed through,” he said.
During his recovery, his mum and his wife were among the people that stood by him, along with some cooking activities.
“My mum told me to pray, I followed her advice. My wife gave me strength, despite having many arguments and quarrels throughout the journey, especially during that difficult first year of sobriety. Her support kept me going,” he added.
Along said that his mum was overjoyed that he tried to get clean, making sure that his room and closet is checked on a daily basis to make sure he wasn’t hiding any drugs.
“There was a moment when I almost gave up, felt weak and hopeless. But when I looked at my mum and my wife, I knew I had to carry on.
“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have the good life and job I enjoy today. I am proud to say that they were my motivation,” he added.
Normalcy and some coping mechanisms
Because of sobriety, Along enjoyed being normal for once, going out, sit in a cafe and not feel like people are judging him.
“I have learned to see life differently. For me, it’s been 13 years of living clean and normal, and now, when I see the younger generation – the Gen Zs, the ‘Bettas’ – getting high, I can’t help but laugh a little because I’ve been there before.
“When you try to advise them, you understand where they’re coming from, because once upon a time, you were the same. That’s the funny part – my perspective now comes from my own experience, and that’s what makes it real,” he said.
While it’s been good getting clean and sober, Along lost his friends along the way, especially those who were in the same circle as him.
“That includes one of my best friends. He didn’t want to change and get clean, so we drifted apart.
“For the first five years, I broke away from my old circle. Some eventually followed me into sobriety, while others didn’t.
“But there’s a silver lining to it. Because losing those friends gave me the chance to build new, healthier friendships, friends who encourage me to stay clean,” he said.
For Along, although it’s not the best habit, he often vapes as one of the coping mechanisms to stay grounded.
“Vaping keeps my hands busy. I would also go for a motorcycle ride, because it clears my mind.
“I know and understand that smoking or vaping isn’t the best habit, but for me, it’s better than going back to drugs and alcohol,” he added.
Reflecting on the journey/message to those struggling
Looking back, Along wishes he had taken the step towards sobriety earlier.
“Because if I had quit earlier, I would not have wasted so much money. In my years of addiction, I think I lost around RM300,000.
“I could have used that money for so many better things. But, what’s done is done.
“I do not see it only as regret, I see it also as part of the healing and learning process,” he said.
If Along could go back in time, he would tell his 2002-self to not do it.
“Because once you start, you will not stop. Like myself, I managed to quit in 2006. Then I met up with my old friends again, and I started using again.
“I could just say to myself that today, I go and take drugs, then the next time, I would stop. And that’s where between 2008 and 2012, everything just fell apart,” he said.
When asked if there’s any message Along could give to those struggling to get clean and sober, he said one must do it wholeheartedly.
“Because for me, being sober for a long time comes down to taking it as something positive.
“I still remember the night I decided to quit – I gathered everything and threw it all away. No saving it for later, no waiting for tomorrow. When you say ‘no,’ it has to mean no. Because if you keep saying, ‘I’ll quit tomorrow, I’ll quit the next day’, it will never work.
“When you want to quit, you just quit. You stop. And most importantly, you can’t do it alone. You need strong motivation, a good partner, a supportive family, and true friends who stand by you,” he said.
From a teenager lost in the shadows of addiction to a man who found strength in family, faith, and determination, Along’s journey is proof that recovery is possible.
“Life after drugs is not just about survival; it’s about redemption,” he said.
Thirteen years of sobriety have not erased the scars of his past, but they have transformed them into lessons.
For Along, his story is no longer just his own; it is a beacon for those still struggling, a reminder that even in the darkest moments, there is always a way back into the light.
